Rabu, Julai 12, 2006

Eaten alive by heroin

THESE shocking photos show the terrible toll that heroin addiction has taken on 27-year-old Rachael Keogh.

Now she could face the terrifying prospect of having both her ravaged arms AMPUTATED as her flesh is eaten away.

Rachael admits she is a walking warning of the dangers of drugs — yet she still cannot give up.

Telling of her plight, she said: “It’s an absolute nightmare. I’m terrified of losing my arms. The doctors are serious, they’ve warned me.

“They told me, ‘You’re going to lose your arms if you continue to use drugs, we’re going to have to amputate them’, but I just can’t stop.

“I don’t have the strength to do it on my own. I need help.”

Tragic Rachael started injecting heroin when she was only 15 — and more than a decade of abuse has destroyed the veins in her arms.

She said: “Because I’ve been using for so long I literally have none left.

“I’d be rooting around for veins and you can easily mistake a capillary for a vein.

They are so small that they can’t handle the heroin. What happens is the heroin burns through them and I literally have necrosis [dead flesh] over my arms. It really upsets me.

Although Rachael has attempted to kick the habit several times, she has always slipped back into addiction.

She said: “When I tried to get clean, I couldn’t do it.

No one wants to be a drug addict or to do the things that you have to do in order to feed your habit.

I’m not a scumbag. I’m a good person, my family instilled a lot of goodness in me. But when it comes to drugs, all my morals go out the window.

“The consequences of using heroin happened very quickly.

“When my family found out, they were devastated.”

Rachael, who lives in Dublin with her mother Linda, 42, went on: “I’m actually surprised I’m still sitting here.

Without a doubt, I know I could die. If I didn’t have the family, I think I would be dead already.

The state I’m in physically, your body can only take so much. Never in a million years did I think my arms would end up like this.

Heroin has become all I know. I would give anything to get clean.

Now she is desperately seeking help to give up heroin completely. But although she has tried to get into rehab there have been no places available.

Mum Linda told The Sun: “Her body is just giving in at this stage.

“She’s very, very sick. Drugs took over her mind and her body. I just don’t know what to do any more. She has no life. She exists but she’s just like a walking corpse. All she wants is another chance and everybody deserves that.”

Rachael will appear in court tomorrow accused of shoplifting.
~source

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5 ulasan:

  1. I feel for you, Raechel. I am there myself - I have not destroyed my arms, only because I never had any big veins in them to use. But my hands, specifically -the backs of my hands no longer have any veins. They all collapsed, after using Heroin for 6 years, daily. I have only been clean maybe 3 times in the last 6 years, and the longest I have ever been clean for is about one month.

    Heroin, is in a class all by itself, and I think that there ought to be specific rehab centers which deal only with Heroin. I know that Methadone clinics exist for Heroin addicts, but the treatment, still involves drug users of all substances. In my youth, I had used just about anything you can name. It was all recreational - I smoked my pot for about 15 years, and drank alot. But I still - never became dependent on these substances, or used them as coping mechanisms. I managed to graduate college, and land a good career - that is, until I reached 30 years old. At 30, I went through what can best be described as a social-emotional crisis, that I just did not know how to deal with. Being a drug user for years, I was introduced to Heroin. The minute I tried it, it was an instant love affair. I remember asking myself, "why wouldnt I want to feel like this all the time ?". And I had no answer. I kept using, and since then it never stopped.

    Now, Im at a point where I need Heroin every morning, the same way that I need air, water, or food. The prospect of not using for a day, is simply not an option - it's a nightmare scenario. I lost my job about a year ago, simply because it became impossible to hold a job, with the heroin lifestyle interfering with every aspect of my life. I am 35 years old. I remember when I first went to a methadone clinic, and the nurse said to me, "You are still salvagable - we will start you at 30 mg, and decrease you in regular intervals, and then you have to stop for good.". But now, about 3 years later, if I walked into the same clinic - I dont think they'd tag me as "salvageable" this time. I fear that I have taken it too far, and I simply can not see myself ever being clean again. Im at ground zero too - I claimed bankruptcy, I had to move back home with my poor mother, who has to see me destroy myself on a daily basis. I scheme, and scam for money every day - like a total loser. I have no guilt about scheming for money, because even though I know its wrong - the alternative of going without my fix, is simply not an option. I fear that I have Hepititis C, because although I never shared needles - I have been around people who have the virus. I know that when I get high around them, I get very careless, and its very possible that I shared injection water without thinking. I am too scared to go to the doctor to find out if I have it - I will never be able to forgive myself if I do.

    I was given so much in life - A college degree, good parents, a good career. At 35, I should be in a different place. I should have money, a wife, a home. But I have none of these things, all because of Heroin. I am a good person too - I am not a scumbag. I am generous, and honest. I used to have a lot of motivation, and talents - a passion for life. But this passion I used to have, is gone. I live, to score heroin every day. If I was told that I would be where I am now, 6 years ago when I started - Id have accused whoever warned me, of being crazy. But I am the one who ended up crazy.

    I dont know what will happen to me. Every night, I get very depressed hours after my fix, and the depression is enough to make me so positive that I will quit the next day. But I awake with a totally different mindest than I had the night before. I awake, seeking Heroin, and doing anything I have to to get it. Its a viscous cycle that I fear I will never break.

    Good Luck to you, I know where you are coming from, and I wish you the best.

    Anonymous, NY

    BalasPadam
  2. Also - There's nothing "Trainspotting" about using heroin, either. Movies like that, while they do show the ugliness of Heroin addiction, also make the main characters witty, quirky, and cool. Let me tell you - I have been in the dope game for 6 years, and these people do not exist. I have yet to meet a daily user who is smart, witty, or cool. The only people I have ever met who have daily dope habits, are complete and total losers - who can not even manage to keep themselves clean, hygenically.

    BalasPadam
  3. Ulasan ini telah dialihkan keluar oleh pentadbir blog.

    BalasPadam
  4. Ulasan ini telah dialihkan keluar oleh pentadbir blog.

    BalasPadam
  5. mangkuk betul... mubaligh ni.. menyebarkan kristian.. delete..

    BalasPadam